Perspectives

So I had to stop what I was doing and come to the computer to write this entry before it's gone...
Here I am, 'cleaning' out the house and organizing my stuff as I'm about to move away from this country and I found this notebook hidden on the back of the little stand I have next to my bed.
This little notebook was a diary I tried to start in February 2010.
I started reading the few entries I had written and oh my gosh...
I didn't know whether I should be laughing my ass off or if I should be crying of pity for myself.
It seems I was a bit, well, very depressed back then.
I think in almost every page I had written I had something like, I hate myself, I'm a pathetic loser, nobody loves me, etc etc etc.
I was writing as if my life was coming to an end and I had to get used to the fact that I was never gonna be happy...
HOW F...ING DRAMATIC!!!
My life didn't come to an end and it's not about to (I hope!). I'm actually just about to start over in a way.
Back then I never thought it would be possible I guess to be where I am now.
It's weird how when we're sad and feeling sorry for ourselves how much worse we make things look.
Now I realize that all of that was just in my imagination. Not even half of it was real. But back then it all felt very much real.
I think I need to apologize to some people I might have hurt back then due to what I was going through. Also realize why some people made it their business to stay away from me - I don't blame them, I would too if I were them.
I probably also owe a particular someone some explanation as to why I was acting so crazy.
But then again maybe he already knows!

Anyways, point is: things are never as bad as we think they are.
We tend to make them look much worse.
It sucks that we can only see that in hindsight. Maybe it's because we need to go through all that drama to value more what comes next.
But from now on, I think we should all start giving ourselves a little more credit (and by us I mean ME!)