Seven lessons I learned about life

This post is not written by me.
This is part of an article I just read and thought I'd share.
It was written by Tina Pennington (aka Red) and it's a bit about the book she wrote with her sister, Mandy Williams (aka Black). The book is called What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! a real approach to personal finance and prioritizing your life.

And here are the 7 lessons

Seven Lessons
During my crisis, I put together a list I could review whenever I needed help remembering the glass is half-full. It's as applicable today as it was when I first wrote it. Hopefully it can help you navigate any crisis you find yourself in.

1. Take My Head Out of the Sand
Whether financial or personal — avoiding the truth won’t change the facts. It certainly will NOT make the situation better. Nor will it make the situation go away. Problems will lie dormant only until such time as they’re too big to continue ignoring. Acknowledging a problem (and the earlier, the better) is a HUGE first step towards doing something positive.

2. Eat the Elephant One Bite at a Time
This applies to many large issues or projects. Situations which become bigger the longer I delay addressing them. Which then can become another excuse for not dealing with them. A vicious circle! But I can tackle/deal with/solve anything; I CAN eat an elephant, just not all at one time. I initially applied this concept to our financial situation and later used it for less urgent projects, such as my daughter’s scrapbooks. Now I find myself using this concept whenever I have large tasks to tackle that in the past I’d have kept postponing, such as the growing mountain range of paper in my “workroom”.

3. Communication Includes Dialogue
My sister and I talk a lot about communication in our book, and there’s no question that it’s absolutely critical to any relationship. But now I’ve added the word “dialogue.” A cooperative spouse is great, or a close friend, a sister — anyone who will listen and be available to bounce ideas around. Few of us want to go through life alone, but communication becomes even more important during a crisis, yet often that’s when we feel most alone. I’m lucky to have Black in my life, but if I didn’t there are support groups. I would never try to get through a crisis alone.

4. Be Honest with the Mirror
I made a commitment that I’ll try to be honest with myself — about what’s important to me, what will make me happy (I don’t mean winning the lottery), what I want from life. I need to be open to the thoughts of friends and family (NOT society at large) about what’s important to them, but I treat them as a “menu of options” — not definitive answers. And I remind myself that when I think the grass might be greener somewhere else, in reality I may be looking at Astroturf.

5. It’s Just Stuff And Fluff
Spending time and money chasing “things” is a waste of time and money. (Beyond basic needs, of course.) Besides, it isn’t a good example to set for children — especially since they learn more by “Monkey see — Monkey do” than they do by “Do as I say, not as I do.” At the end of the day, the most important things are my beliefs, my values, my priorities, my loved ones, my memories. The things money can’t buy. The rest is just fluff.

6. Slow Down and Enjoy
Life can change in an instant — a spouse gets fired, a family member gets seriously ill, a loved one dies — so I have to enjoy what I have and the people in my life. Spend less time “doing” and more time “enjoying.” Read one less e-mail. Play a game with the girls. Shut off the TV at dinner and have a conversation. Have coffee with a friend. Make sure to take the time to unwind. And to dream.

7. Crisis = Opportunity
Finally, I have given myself the gift of believing that everything happens for a reason, even if I can’t understand why at the time. If I allow myself to treat a crisis as a potential opportunity, I might find myself one day in the future saying, “I’m so glad that happened because if it hadn’t then: I might not have learned something. Understood something. Gotten to the place where I am today.”

Wish I was 10 again

Just think about how great our lives were when we were 10.
No alarm clocks and mobile phones beeping like crazy in our heads to wake us up on time. Instead mom would come to wake me up and would always let me sleep another 5 minutes (and another 5, and another 5) until she pulled my covers and made me get up so I wouldn't be late.
Then I didn't have to think about what to have for breakfast, little less make it. I'd walk into the kitchen and there was a big cup of hot cocoa waiting for me.
After that, I already knew the routine mom would always 'gently' remind me of, yelling - go brush your teeth, put on your uniform, get your backpack, here's your snack.
Off to school, she would drive us.
At school, again everything was pre-determined. Little bit of learning, little bit of finger painting. And the most important decisions and dilemmas I was faced with was if I wanted to play house or in the playground during recess, and what color was I going to paint the walls of my house in the drawing I made for my parents.
Life was so easy and so beautiful and I didn't know.
Then I turned 15 and I wanted freedom.
Freedom to go out with boys, to go to the mall with my friends. To go out at night.
Freedom to do whatever I wanted, go wherever I wanted and not have to obey my parents. I knew better. At least at that point I thought I did.
Spent so much energy and time during my teen years dreaming of the moment I would go live on my own. Be my own boss. Do whatever I wanted and not have to explain myself to anyone.
It was a dream so distant...
But now here I am, with all that freedom I wanted so badly, for so long.
And?!?!?!
And I'd change it all for one more day being 10 and a big cup of hot cocoa for breakfast.

At least we made it to 30

Just saw the news about Amy Winehouse being found dead in her flat in London today. We still don't know what was the cause of her death but I'm gonna guess it was something drug and alcohol related.
I wasn't exactly a fan, but what gets me on this is that she was ONLY 27 years old.
Here I am writing about all the questions I have as I became 30, about not knowing what I want and what is my 'mission' in this world... And some people are done before that.
I guess it puts things back in perspective.
Aren't we all LUCKY we're sober enough to be 30 and full of doubts? ;-)

Taking the opportunity to remember some of my favorite musicians that unfortunately left us way too soon.
Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison
All strangely enough also at the age of 27.

Now what?!?!?!

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, full of dreams. This little girl dreamt she would grow up to be a ballerina. And that when she was old, around 25, she would get married to prince charming - of course! Then she would have 2 children, the first would be a girl, when she was 27. And then a boy when she was 29. They would be a beautiful family, living in a nice big house with a garden and a dog. And they would live happily ever after.

Well, this little girl is now 30 years old. She is not a ballerina. She's also not married and has no kids.
So the inevitable question is, what went wrong?

I'll tell you what. Everything and nothing!!!

It's funny to stop and think back to what we idealized our lives would be like when we were younger and now look at where we are. I was way off in my predictions. Good thing I didn't decide to be a psychic or an astrologer. That would have been catastrophic.
Nevertheless, looking back at those memories also makes me wonder if I have made the right choices and worse, brings up all kinds of doubts and questions.

I think we all have had numerous existential crises throughout our lives, but for some reason this one now, feels a bit more serious. All of the sudden you start hearing terms like biological clock and there is some kind of 'invisible' pressure. Well, not so invisible. Let's think about it. You find yourself having to buy 5 different fancy dresses per year due to all the weddings you need to attend. People are off to do MBA's, getting promotions and talking about their ambitious career plans. You're almost becoming an expert on brands of diapers. The pictures on your friend's facebook pages are no longer a bunch of drunks making total fools out of themselves, but people in suits and lots of cute laughing babies!

And here you are. 30 something years old, still kinda lost and absolutely completely clueless about what you really want.
Is that just me???
Well, I didn't think so. That's why I decided to start this blog. Let's share our doubts and anxieties!!!!
I know I have a few friends 'suffering' from the same problems, and I suspect there are more of us out there.
Maybe we can learn from each other.
If not, at least we can laugh about it together!!! :-)