21 November 2016

Reflections

A series of odd and emotionally intense events has happened to people close to me past few weeks, obviously impacting me in one way or another and that certainly got me to reflect again.
Just the other day I read somewhere about how 2016 marks the end of a 36-year long Sun era or cycle and that in 2017 we embark on a Saturn led journey.... I'm not sure I believe all of this astrology stuff - certainly very suspicious about it when astrologers go all psychic and try to predict the future. But this particular blog post got me thinking. It talked about the Sun cycle as one of personal light, egocentrism, the need to leave your personal mark.
Interesting huh?
If we think about the culture of social media and selfies and all that we are now indulged in, kinda makes sense.
And the text went on... The Sun is the centre of our planetary system, it gives life but also burns and blinds. All excess is destructive. As we have spent the past 36 years "training" our personal Sun, we are now at the peak of the need to be the centre of attention. We have become spoiled little children and everything offends us and invites us to fight for our "individual rights".
WOW!
Put aside the astrology and just re-read the statement above.
Sounds very much like the world we live in today.
We indulge in whatever it takes for us to find personal satisfaction. The worship of me! The value of me! An individualistic society that praises the personal success and glory. One that measures your worth in comparison to how much better, how much more likeable, how much more more and more you are than the rest. It's me before everything. My needs, my desires, my feelings, my wishes... Yeah, ok, you have those too, but you go chase that and take care of that because I have MY OWN PROBLEMS to deal with - which normally have to do with how I will make sure I cover my own needs and desires and all that. And because no one else is gonna have the interest, time nor energy to help me, also because they're trying to do the exact same thing as me. And so we close ourselves inwards to our own little universe, in which we are our own Suns, and all the planets spin around me! And we get lonely. Alone and lost. And we don't dare to reach out and look for help. That is weak, vulnerable. Who wants to be perceived as that?
We are self involved, just like everyone else is. We forget to look up and around every now and then. Until something happens. And unfortunately enough, it usually takes a tragedy to make us stop and do that.
I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I'm not guilty of the above - far from me. We are all equally flawed I believe. But just thinking about all of this and recognising these behaviours in me - well it definitely makes me want to change.
This year has been a very emotionally intense year for me. I have been trying to fight off many of my demons (as I believe I have slightly touched upon in the previous post). And the battle is far from over. I guess it's a battle for life. And I know we each have our demons and wars to fight and those won't go away with the end of some astrological cycle.
But I like to believe that as we progress through this life we do earn new tools and we can learn to use them so that each future battle becomes less painful and maybe slightly easier to win.
Tools and experiences that can and should be shared. Even if it's only for the sake of showcasing what not to do!
Not the egotistical sharing (I believe we all know what I mean by that), but in a truly caring way.
That could be difference between winning or losing the battle.
So back to the blog post about astrology...
It goes on to say that in 2017 Saturn arrives and starts to impose limits, leading to completely opposite trends than those we saw during the Sun era. The dissolution of the ego, a period of more responsibility, severity, sobriety, competence.
Whether or not we chose to believe in this, certainly wouldn't hurt if we do get a bit more of those Saturnine qualities in our lives.

If you are curious, please see the link below for the original post about the astrological cycles (in Portuguese only I'm afraid).
https://omundodegaya.wordpress.com/2016/11/10/2016-um-ano-de-terminos-fim-de-um-ciclo-de-36-anos/



25 October 2016

Life's Vicious Cycles

Hello you! Hello me! Hello world!
Hello good ol' blog!

So Facebook with this nice little memory feature they have, brought up an entry from this blog just the other day, about my last day at the office (October 2011). I opened it, but obviously (also as previously explained in another entry on this blog) got distracted like a Labrador puppy playing with the leaves... oh wait butterfly! and only read the post now.
Needless to say I had to go back and read all the previous entries and had a little (and I mean little because I didn't write that many posts here) trip down memory lane and guess what? Felt the urge to write again.

I guess I could call this Update #276 or whatever and go through all the boring (and not so boring) details of the many things that happened over the past couple of years....
Maybe I'll do that as I get more inspired to keep writing... or maybe I won't. We'll see.
And if you are thinking that I have come back with amazing news, to tell you how together my life is and how successful I have become post my MBA... Sorry to disappoint you.

I'm not working in the corporate finance world (I did, went back and it lasted less than 12 months!). I'm not a CFO, CEO, Executive VP or anything like that in any large international company. In fact I'm very happily unemployed! :)

I'm definitely poorer and a little heavier (but working on that already! top priority! I blame my age haha) than six years ago when I started writing this.
Still single. Still no kids.
Still confused? Hell yeah!
Still unhappy? Hell NO! But have been on and off at times between then and now.
Interestingly enough feels like I have gone through a similar cycle at least two or three times in the past six years. Somehow always ending up in a similar place as to that where I had started....
How is that possible?
Not sure.

I do know it's sooooo hard to break away from old habits and things that are so hard engraved in our brains and souls, that we don't even realise until you walk that long arduous road to find yourself right back where you started, with that big silly puzzled look on your face... What the heck????
But if you also have that urge, that constant feeling of unrest inside you, it does keep creeping back up to you in ways you least expect. And gets you moving again.

Can't say I haven't been moving. I think that's what I did the most between the end of 2013 when I finished my MBA and now. At many times I had a plan. But the plan failed. So I made new plans. And those failed too. And then at one point, I was done with planning. But that also didn't work out too well! ;-)
Or maybe it all worked out in a mysterious way I still don't know.
Hoping to get that benefit of hindsight very soon to understand this all.

Again, so many things happened in these past few years. More weddings, more kids, more job promotions, more moves, even some deaths (sadly enough). And sometimes I feel like I'm the only one stuck in this vicious little cycle that my life has become. Or has it?

I have been to so many places, met so many new people.
Some friendships have ended, new beautiful ones have started. Some old ones revived!
I'M not stuck, MY MIND is stuck.
There is a HUGE difference.
EUREKA!
And when I discovered that and learned how to free my mind and started allowing it to follow me.... That's when the real move begins!

So welcome to a new cycle! But with the same good ol' me! :D